Roberts and the Three Umpores

Date: October 7th., 2005
Sent to but not published in the New York Times

All this talk about Supreme Court Justices resembling baseball umpires reminded me of the old story of the three umpires talking about balls and strikes.

• The first says, "I call them as I see them."
• The second says, "I call them as they is."
• The third says, "They ain't nothin' till I've called them."

It is this last umperial role that Supreme Court Justices enjoy. Before they rule, the laws and precedents are conflicting, confusing, and ambiguous. After they have ruled, they have created a new reality. The law is clear.